Writing Romance That Feels Real – Avoiding the Insta-Love Trap

Weaving believable romance into non-romantic stories

Romance is everywhere. Whether your story is a high-stakes fantasy, a gritty sci-fi adventure, or a character-driven mystery, there’s a good chance someone will fall in love along the way.

But here’s the thing: readers can smell a forced romance from ten chapters away. And nothing disrupts emotional immersion faster than a love story that feels tacked on, rushed, or flat-out unbelievable.

If you’re writing a novel where romance is a subplot, not the star of the show, this post is for you. Let’s talk about how to craft romantic threads that enhance your story—not derail it—and how to avoid the dreaded insta-love trap.

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Why Romance Matters in Non-Romantic Stories

Even if romance isn’t the focus, a well-executed love story can deepen character development, raise the emotional stakes, and provide moments of softness or tension that contrast beautifully with your core plot.

Done well, it’s not a distraction—it’s a window into your characters’ hearts. It makes us care more about what happens to them, not less.

But if it feels shoehorned in? Readers won’t buy it. And if they don’t buy the relationship, they won’t care about it. Which means it’ll take up space without pulling its weight.

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The Problem With Insta-Love

Let’s be clear: chemistry at first sight is believable. But love? That takes time.

Insta-love is when characters fall for each other instantly—without the emotional groundwork to make it feel earned. And in non-romantic stories, this often happens because the author feels pressure to check the “romance box” quickly and move on.

But love isn’t just longing looks and physical attraction. It’s built through:

• Shared experiences
• Emotional vulnerability
• Conflict and reconciliation
• Understanding and growth

Skipping these steps leads to shallow romance and frustrated readers. Especially when your worldbuilding and plot are otherwise rock solid.

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Let the Relationship Breathe

You don’t need your characters declaring undying love by Chapter Five. In fact, it’s often stronger if they don’t.

Give your characters room to develop feelings over time. Let their relationship grow in the margins—through banter during a mission, quiet support in a crisis, or a shared goal that forces them to work together.

Make space for awkwardness, hesitation, misunderstandings, and small moments of connection. That’s what makes romance believable—not the kiss, but everything leading up to it.

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Build on Conflict and Compatibility

One of the easiest ways to make romance feel earned is to ground it in character dynamics.

Ask yourself:

• What draws these characters to each other emotionally or intellectually—not just physically?
• What do they see in each other that others don’t?
• Where do they clash, and how do they grow from it?

Conflict isn’t a romance killer—it’s a growth opportunity. When two people challenge each other and still choose to connect, that’s compelling.

Think less “they complete each other” and more “they make each other better.”

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Keep the Focus Where It Belongs

If you’re not writing a romance novel, then romance should never upstage your main story arc. It should support it.

Let the romantic subplot serve a purpose:

• Does it reveal something about your protagonist’s fears or desires?
• Does it raise the stakes or complicate the primary mission?
• Does it show a new side of your world through emotional intimacy?

Romance doesn’t have to lead to a happy ending. Sometimes it ends in heartbreak or self-discovery. And that’s okay—so long as it feels true to the characters and the story.

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Readers Don’t Need Fireworks—They Need Truth

At the end of the day, readers will believe in your romance if your characters believe in it.

You don’t need grand gestures or epic declarations. Sometimes, the quietest moments hit the hardest:

• A hand held too long
• A shared look in a dangerous moment
• A character choosing love even when it terrifies them

So skip the checklist and write from the inside out. Focus on what feels real for these specific people, in this specific world, at this point in their journey.

That’s what makes a love story stick—whether it ends in a kiss, a goodbye, or a single touch in the middle of a battlefield.

The Magic of Subplots – Weaving Layers Into Your Story

When most people think about storytelling, they think about the main plot—the big quest, the ultimate goal, the central conflict. But any truly rich, memorable story is made up of more than just that single thread. That’s where subplots come in, and they’re where the real magic often happens.

A good subplot adds depth, complexity, and emotional resonance to your narrative. It can develop side characters, deepen worldbuilding, or highlight different facets of your protagonist. Think of subplots like harmonies in a song. The melody might carry the tune, but those harmonies are what give it power and richness.

So how do you create a subplot that doesn’t just feel like filler?

1. Tie It to the Main Theme

Your subplot should echo or contrast the theme of your main plot. If your story is about power and responsibility, maybe your subplot explores what happens when someone avoids responsibility—or seizes power recklessly.

2. Use It to Develop Character

A romantic subplot can challenge a stoic warrior to open up. A friendship subplot might force your villain to reconsider their choices. Subplots are fantastic for showing growth or highlighting a character’s flaws in a different light.

3. Let It Intersect the Main Plot

The strongest subplots don’t run parallel—they collide. Maybe your hero’s best friend is caught in a political scandal that directly impacts the main quest. Maybe a love interest’s betrayal sets up the final battle. Let them matter.

4. Don’t Let It Drag

If your subplot starts to overtake the main narrative—or worse, wander aimlessly—it’s time to trim. A subplot should feel like it’s pulling the story forward, not weighing it down.

5. Resolve It With Intention

A satisfying subplot has a beginning, middle, and end. It may not get as much page time as your primary arc, but it deserves a resolution. Even an open-ended one—if it’s purposeful—feels more satisfying than one that simply vanishes.

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Subplots are where stories become layered. Where readers fall in love with your secondary characters. Where emotional gut-punches live. Don’t treat them as an afterthought—treat them as an opportunity.

Want to share your favorite subplot from a book or one you’ve written yourself? Drop it in the comments—I’d love to hear it!

Villains With Depth – Writing Antagonists Who Aren’t Just Evil

What makes a villain memorable? It’s not the black cloak, the evil laugh, or even the body count. It’s the reason behind it all.

In fantasy, it’s all too easy to fall into the trap of the one-note villain — the Big Bad who does bad things just because they’re evil. But if you want your story to stand out, your antagonist needs just as much depth as your protagonist. Maybe more.

The Villain Believes They’re the Hero

The best villains don’t twirl their mustaches and call themselves evil. They believe they’re right. They believe they’re saving the world — or at least doing what needs to be done. Maybe they see your hero as a naïve idealist. Maybe they have a vision of a better world, and they’re willing to make hard choices your protagonist refuses to make.

Give your villain a worldview. Make it make sense — even if it horrifies your readers.

Motivation Is Key

What does your antagonist want? Power is a common answer, but it’s often a shortcut. Why do they want power? Are they trying to reclaim control after a lifetime of being helpless? Do they believe only they can fix a broken system? Or are they trying to protect someone, even if it means burning the world?

The deeper the motivation, the stronger the conflict.

The Hero-Villain Mirror

A truly compelling antagonist reflects something about your protagonist. They’re often two sides of the same coin — similar goals, different methods. When done well, this contrast deepens both characters and gives your story moral complexity. The reader should wonder, What if the hero had made one different choice?

That tension is where great storytelling lives.

Let Them Be Human

Give your villain small moments of humanity. Let them grieve. Let them laugh. Let them love. A villain who shows tenderness in one scene and cruelty in the next is far more chilling — and believable — than one who’s evil all the time.

Nuance isn’t weakness. It’s realism.

In the End…

You don’t need your readers to like your villain — but you should aim for understanding. A good antagonist leaves your audience unsettled, thoughtful, and maybe even a little conflicted.

Because sometimes, the scariest villains aren’t monsters.

They’re just people.

More Than Swords – Crafting Powerful Women in Fantasy

In fantasy fiction, we often celebrate epic battles, bold quests, and magical powers. But too often, when it comes to female protagonists, “strong” becomes a narrowly defined box—usually with a sword inside it. The armored warrior woman who shows no weakness and fights like a man is now a trope all its own. And while there’s nothing wrong with a woman wielding a blade, reducing female strength to physical combat alone sells short the complexity of real, powerful women.

So let’s break that mold. Let’s talk about what it truly means to write a strong female protagonist—and how you, as a fantasy writer, can craft women who are not just strong, but unforgettable.

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The Problem with “Strong Female Characters”

For years, “strong female character” was code for a woman who could fight, sass, and generally perform toughness. Think stoic assassins, grizzled generals, or brooding rogues—only female. These characters often act detached, emotionally repressed, and, ironically, not very well-developed.

Why? Because strength is not personality. A character who kicks down doors but has no internal life isn’t strong—she’s flat. True strength comes from agency, complexity, and depth. If a character only exists to “prove” she’s not weak, you’re not writing a strong woman—you’re writing a reaction to male-dominated tropes.

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What Strength Really Looks Like

Let’s reframe strength. Yes, strength can be physical—but it can also be emotional, intellectual, spiritual, or relational. A strong woman might lead a rebellion—or she might raise a child in a hostile world. She might swing a sword—or negotiate peace between warring nations. Strength is endurance. Compassion. Strategy. Faith. Sacrifice. The ability to choose and act despite fear.

Ask yourself:

• What does this character value?
• What are her goals—and what is she willing to risk for them?
• What breaks her? What heals her?
• Where does her strength live?

When you build a character around those questions, you create someone memorable—not because she’s strong like a man, but because she’s strong like herself.

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Diversity Within Strength

Not all women are the same. (Obvious, but worth repeating.) Your female protagonist doesn’t have to be fiery, outspoken, or aggressive to be powerful. Quiet strength is still strength. A woman who builds, listens, teaches, or heals can be just as heroic as one who slays dragons.

Here are just a few archetypes to explore—beyond the warrior:

• The Strategist – Cunning, patient, always thinking ahead.
• The Nurturer – Protects others, holds communities together.
• The Seeker – Driven by discovery, change, or truth.
• The Survivor – Lives through trauma or loss and finds meaning.
• The Outsider – Challenges tradition and forges a new path.

And of course, these archetypes can blend. A woman might be a warrior and a nurturer. A queen and a rebel. Don’t be afraid to let your female characters contain contradictions. Real people do.

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Let Her Be Flawed

A perfect character is a boring character—no matter their gender. Yet sometimes writers hesitate to give female leads real flaws, especially in male-dominated genres. We worry they’ll be seen as “unlikable.”

Let that go.

Give her flaws. Let her be wrong. Let her fail. Let her doubt herself. Let her grow.

What readers love isn’t perfection—it’s transformation. A woman who changes, who stumbles and rises, who learns from her pain and her victories—that’s the kind of protagonist who sticks with us long after the last page.

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Relationships Matter

Fantasy can be isolating—lone heroes on long roads, separated from everything they love. But strong characters are shaped by their relationships, and this is especially important for women, whose narratives have often been defined by their relationships rather than through them.

Let your female lead love deeply. Let her have friends, enemies, mentors, siblings, lovers, rivals, and students. Show how these bonds push her, challenge her, and give her new perspective.

Romance can be part of her story—but it doesn’t have to define it. The key is balance: she has her own arc, and her relationships enrich it rather than replace it.

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Avoid the Backlash Protagonist

Sometimes, in trying to subvert tropes, we overcorrect. We strip away femininity. We make the character “not like other girls.” We pit her against other women to prove her worth. That’s not progressive—that’s just a different form of stereotype.

Let your female protagonist coexist with other complex women. Let them be allies, adversaries, or both. Build a world where multiple women exist on different paths, with different strengths, goals, and ideals.

Because “strong” doesn’t mean “alone.”

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Examples That Get It Right

Want inspiration? Look to:

• Brienne of Tarth (A Song of Ice and Fire) – A warrior, yes, but also loyal, vulnerable, and deeply principled.
• Sabriel (The Old Kingdom Trilogy) – Faces necromantic horrors with resolve, grief, and growth.
• Egwene al’Vere (The Wheel of Time) – Not physically combative, but sharp, ambitious, and politically astute.
• Moana (Disney’s Moana) – A young girl driven by love for her people, navigating fear, tradition, and destiny.

Each of these characters is “strong,” but in radically different ways—and none of them are reduced to a trope.

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In the End… Make Her Real

A well-written female protagonist isn’t just a “strong female character.” She’s a person. Complicated. Flawed. Brave. Afraid. Tender. Fierce. Capable of terrible mistakes and incredible resilience.

So write her like a human, not a message. Let her live on the page as fully as you’d let any male hero live. And when she does fight—whether with a sword, a spell, or her own bare hands—make sure it’s because she chose to, not because she had to prove she could.

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Let’s redefine strength—one unforgettable woman at a time.